Enya's Website

'23 August-September Update

2023-09-25

It's uhh... it's been a minute.

Where I'm At

So I had made this site in March and was really excited about overhauling my website again. The last post was in March and the last update I made was in May. I've had a lot going on since then.

I finished college, moved a little, got a job, have different partners, had significant new experiences, etc. But I never really came back to this website to show it some love.

I've said a million times to myself and friends and family that the two biggest stressors for me were finishing college and having income. Now that I got my degree, I can focus on getting a job. I did end up finding a job, not quite where I want to be but it's a stepping stone in the right direction. It's not as technical or well-paid compared to what level I should be at but it's still more pay than any of my previous jobs, and it's job experience in IT! I really slacked on hunting for jobs because job hunting is such an impossibly high executive functioning task for me, and it doesn't help that I don't have any internship experience to show to potential programming-oriented job employers.

While it's not quite where I want to be, I'm making more money than I ever have and work has been little effort, so it's a good living. While I still need to iron out the financials on bigger things like rent and student loans, it does massively help my brain out to not constantly be stressing about money and to have a regular schedule I have to follow. It feels like I'm "healing" in a way. With the improvements in mental health I'm able to do more things like trying to cook something new or trying other experiences, positive signs like that have been very visible to me.

I know the job won't last, it's a 3 month contract. Between that and the bigger financal things I haven't looked into, there's definitely still financal stress, but currently it feels like I'm catching a break and having room to breathe before I tackle the situation I'll be in a few months from now.

I get a lotta downtime at my new job, which is great. But I do need to find ways to preoccupy myself when there's nothing to do all day. So between the downtime and better mental health, I started looking at this website again. I had to write something, so here we are.

Even This Post Is A Flop

Eveything you read thus far was written on August 8th... and it's now September 25th at the time of writing this, which is to say, I never posted this to my website until now. I know I can hardly motivate myself for a coding project but damn, I can't even finish writing a life update and upload it? Anyways, it is currently the last week of that 3 month job contract and the likely extension looks to be a shitshow worth bailing over. So by Saturday I'll be unemployed again... greeeeaaat. I've been consistently sleep depriving myself just to wake up early to get to work on time to sit and do nothing most days, it's been a comfy ride in some regards (good money for little work) but I'm ready for the next thing. And you know I haven't had the energy to apply to other jobs, so uhh, I need to get on that. If I don't find a new source of income by December then I'll probably have to look at packing my bags and moving home by the end of the year which would probably destroy me mentally and emotionally and we kinda don't want that to happen.

It's kinda like a "New Game+" type situation, I'm going to be thrown back to the state I was when I graduated college, but have slightly more money and job experience to lean on. Let's hope that my slightly better state is enough to tackle it better this time.

Some Positive Notes

While there certainly is a lotta stress bubbling around in our brain, it's not all doom and gloom.

  • Getting to experience post-college life has been good, even if I'm tired and busy all the time.
  • Elke had come from across seas to visit me in-person and that was an amazing thing for our relationship!
  • I have improved cooking skills/experience, not by much, but at least a little.
  • I got my motorcycle temps! The motorcycle is plated and insured, just need to buy gear and get more practice in.
  • I joined a weekly cycling challenge and I'm still in the game at week 5 out of 15.
  • I did car maintenance for the first time! (changing a lightbulb, but it counts)
  • My beloved university video game club managed to survive from the skin of its teeth (it was heartstoppingly close to being deactivated this school year).

There's all these bits and pieces of good news if you know where to look.

What's Next?

Well, need to get my finances all organized and need to get on that grind of applying to jobs, that's the major thing (don't wanna uproot my living situation). If I'm lucky then somewhere along the line I'll get motivation for programming (I've been feeling it slightly more lately and work is about to end). Need to figure out health insurance situation bcuz I need to get my own. Maybe I'll get some of that motorcycle practice in before the weather gets to be too unfavorable. Need to fix that 3rd brake light on the car I've been ignoring. Should probably clean/organize room. Need to connect more with some friends too. That's all that comes to mind.

Wish me Luck,
Enya🔥